I’m in grad school and have been told by male students that they can see me getting a PhD. However, I’m momentarily not interested in getting a PhD because of miserable working conditions in Germany, with the university structures favouring men as well. I’m simply not interested in putting my energy where it isn’t valued (especially at the university I’m currently at). My flatmate keeps on telling me that, if I consider myself a feminist, why do I “shy away” from getting a PhD and a uni career – and that he doesn’t believe in structural inequality anyways. For me, it’s unbearable how my career choices are not valued – it seems that to him only if I use my education to become a professor etc. I would be able to change something for other women (a point I strongly disagree with). I’m not sure how to make him understand that by telling me my career choices are not “good enough”, he downgrades me because of my sex and thus reproduces gendered expectations (even if they are non-traditional ones). He basically says that equality is a thing only WOMEN have to work for! I’m going crazy here! headdesk.